Dealing with Death as a Nurse

• Share Story
• 
• 
• 

Nursing is a caring profession. Many nurses entered the profession to help and provide for the sick on their healing journey. Inevitably, that includes providing care for the dying. Nurses see countless patients through horrendous injuries and severe illnesses that could easily take their lives. Unfortunately, dealing with death as a nurse may happen during any routine workday, and the impact can be extreme. Overcoming the loss of a patient is never easy. Continue reading for thoughtful guidance and practical resources to navigate these moments, including advice from several nurses with firsthand experience.

The Odds of Dealing with Death as a Nurse

The National Census for Health Statistics indicates that, statistically, there’s one death every 10 seconds around the country. This statistic equates to six deaths every minute, 360 each hour and more than 8,500 daily. While some deaths in your nursing career may leave a deeper impact than others, losing a patient as a nurse always leaves a mark. Even when a passing is expected or seen as a release, it carries weight. Most nurses, at some point in their career, will care for a patient who doesn’t make it and that experience, no matter how common, is never insignificant.

Nurses working in critical care units, emergency departments, cardiology, palliative care or geriatrics may experience more deaths than peers in other fields. However, the diverse array of leading causes of death outlined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) indicates that nurses from any field could face losing a patient. The CDC listed the following as the leading causes of death in the U.S. in 2022:

• Heart Disease
• Cancer
• Accidents
• COVID-19
• Stroke
• Chronic Respiratory Disease
• Alzheimer’s Disease
• Diabetes
• Kidney Conditions
• Chronic Liver Disease and Cirrhosis

Per the CDC, in 2022, the infant mortality rate was 5.6 deaths per 1,000 births. In 2022, it noted that 4,156 children aged 1 to 4 and 6,239 children between 5 and 14 died. These infant and child mortality figures indicate that nurses in pediatrics, labor and delivery, neonatal intensive care and similar nursing fields also experience patient deaths.

Death as Part of Nursing

Some nurses make it through their nursing career and never experience a patient’s death, but most nurses will have patients pass away. According to an article in the Evidence-Based Nursing Journal, most nurses experience losing their first patient during, or even before, their first year of practice.

Personally, I never imagined dealing with death as a nurse would be such an integral part of my nursing journey. I never anticipated creating moments of peace and holding space for patients to pass. Yet, over the years, I’ve been faced with death often.

One story, in particular, stands out as a reminder of how being a travel nurse allows you to think creatively while honoring policies and patient dignity.

An elderly patient who had been deemed palliative for some time had reached a plateau in their condition and seemed to be holding on without significant changes. The first time I was this patient’s nurse, a family member told me the patient had always dreamed of passing outdoors. I noticed a private exit to the helipad at this small hospital and thought, “Why not?” With my manager’s cautious approval, I wheeled the patient outside in their bed. They spent their final moments in the fresh air, surrounded by their family. Shortly after I brought the patient inside, they passed peacefully.

The family was forever grateful for this experience.

This bittersweet moment embodies what it means to honor a patient’s wishes, even in a clinical setting. It’s one of the many ways nursing challenges us to push boundaries, think outside the box and create meaningful connections, especially at the end of life.

But not all deaths are like that. Some are gut-wrenching, unexpected and raw. Calling a family member to tell them their loved one has passed—a mother/father, grandmother/father, daughter/son—is one of the hardest tasks I’ve faced as a nurse. Sudden deaths rock everyone to their core and leave a mark on your soul.

Yet, even amidst the heartbreak, there’s a profound beauty in being there for people during their final moments. By creating space for peace, honoring their humanity and holding their stories, you become a witness to the sacredness of life and death. 

Nurses’ Emotional Well-Being When Facing Death

Although it’s an anticipated part of the profession, a patient’s death often impacts your nursing career. Not dealing with your emotions may lead to compassion fatigue and an increased risk of burnout. A 2022 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health examined nurses’ attitudes toward patient death. The study found that dealing with death as a nurse varies significantly, shaped by personal backgrounds and individual approaches to coping and perception. 

The study found that even though nurses generally accept death as a natural part of life, many nurses exhibit a significant fear of death. I can attest to this. My fear of walking into a patient’s room during hourly night rounds and finding them not breathing is palpable.

Susan Gentile, an Adult Nurse Practitioner and primary care provider who administers urgent care at ChoicePoint, said, “I would be lying if I said that losing a patient or seeing them die in front of you ever gets better with time. It doesn’t. And I think it’s only natural to feel sad when someone you took care of, leaves you.”

Emotional and Personal Responses

Research highlights the emotional toll nurses face after losing a patient. The data reveals that 73.4% of nurses report feeling deep sadness, 58.5% experience a sense of helplessness and 43.6% grapple with feelings of regret. 

Dealing with death as a nurse is a deeply personal experience. Grief doesn’t follow a neat, predictable path. Grief isn’t linear, and it can be very messy.

Janelle Willis, MSN, APRN, CNE, a clinical instructor and certified nurse educator at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, explains, “It’s okay to grieve, and nurses should give themselves time to grieve. Appropriate grief is even okay in front of the patient and family, and often humanizes the experience and shows care and compassion.”

RELATED: Prioritizing Your Mental Health as a Nurse 

The 7 Stages of Grief for Nursing Professionals

In her groundbreaking 1969 book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross broke the taboo surrounding death and initiated a cultural shift. Her work, which introduced the five stages of grief, gave dying patients a voice in their care and transformed how end-of-life experiences were discussed in medical and everyday settings.

While these stages of grief provide a helpful framework, it’s important to remember they aren’t one-size-fits-all. There’s no formula for processing loss. Instead, these stages serve as a guide to help make sense of what we might feel and to validate the complex emotions that surface as we navigate grief. Since Kübler-Ross’s initial work, two additional stages have been incorporated, creating the 7 stages of grief:

• Shock
• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Testing
• Acceptance

Strategies for Coping with the Death of a Patient

Dealing with the loss of a patient is one of the most challenging aspects of nursing, touching both the heart and mind. It requires professional resilience and personal strategies to process grief and continue to provide compassionate care.

“As nurses come to terms with their own thoughts and feelings of death, they will be in a more comfortable, confident state to help others,” advised Willis. “Discover your own healthy coping strategies that allow you to continue your work of caring for patients with empathy and skill. Recognize that death is inevitable, even if it is untimely or tragic. Allow yourself time to grieve and let go of sorrow through prayer, meditation or relaxation.”

While experiencing death will always be painful, nurses can implement strategies, build emotional endurance and take positive actions to help you better deal with loss of life. Here are a couple of practical strategies to help you process and come to terms with the loss of a patient:

• Focus on the family
• Allow yourself to feel
• Remember you’re not alone
• Acknowledge the death
• Practice self-care
• Connect with a higher purpose
• Reflect on the positives

Professional Support and Strategies

Healthcare employers often provide support services, such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), counseling or therapy, which can be invaluable for nurses navigating grief. 

Nena Hart, MSN, RN, is a certified hospice and palliative nurse, a hospice nurse consultant and the owner of Hart Healthcare Solutions. She emphasizes “accepting the resources from your team and organization for coping and self-care. Utilize EAP and chaplains if you have them. Ask for help when you’re struggling.”

In addition to professional resources, nurses can:

• Seek counseling or join support groups for emotional processing and guidance
• Practice mindfulness, meditation or stress-reduction techniques
• Build a supportive network with peers who understand the unique challenges of nursing

By combining professional resources with personal strategies and peer support, you can navigate the emotional challenges of grief while finding resilience in your nursing journey.

Resources for Further Support

These resources offer a starting point for understanding, processing and supporting yourself or others through grief and loss. Finding the right tools and support can make navigating and dealing with death as a nurse a bit easier.

Related Books

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande: A compassionate exploration of how medicine can support a meaningful life at the end.

Final Gifts by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley: Written by hospice nurses, this book shares lessons learned from dying patients.

On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross: A classic resource exploring the stages of grief and the experiences of the dying.

When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi: A moving memoir by a neurosurgeon facing his own terminal diagnosis, insights on life, death and the human spirit.

Online Resources

Center for Loss & Life Transition: Educational resources and support for navigating grief

Healing Circles Global: Free, virtual peer support for loss and grief

Hospice Foundation of America: Educational materials and resources on end-of-life care and bereavement

National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization: Education on hospice care and grief support

Caring for Yourself While Caring for Others

Addressing the emotional impact of death is essential for nurses. Seeking support, whether through professional resources, peer networks or self-care practices, can make a significant difference in navigating these challenges.

We’d love to hear from you—what strategies or practices have helped you cope with loss as a nurse? Share your experiences in the comments to support your fellow healthcare professionals. 

Visit our Wellness Section for more resources, tools and tips on nurturing mental health and overall well-being.

Browse Jobs

Editor’s Note: This post originally appeared in October 2022 and was updated in December 2024.